Category Archives: Self-Help

Self-Help and Personal Development

Growth Books, Self-Help

Live with Passion

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Live with Passion! : Strategies for Creating a Compelling Future Anthony Robbins’ Live with Passion! is up there as one of the best self-improvement books I’ve ever heard. The guy presents so many specific, simple, and effective ways to improve your life–instantly.

Last week I finally managed to get to the library, and with all the excitement got almost half a dozen books on tape. This was the first and I finished it in less than three days. I really needed it right now, and it really helped. The first and one of the greatest strategies in this book is the ability to control one’s desire for an object or a situation. There was a term for it, but the idea goes like this, on a scale from -10 (completely repulsive) to 10 (you can’t live without it, now), figure out your desire for an object, or an event. Figure out how it could be a little lower and a little higher, play with this until you get it to the number you want. So if you take an apple, what would it take for that apple to move from a zero to a two… (the crispness of it)… to a five (being really hungry and a little thirsty)… to an eight (that apple cool on a hot day and smelling super yummy)… to a ten (all those things… and you have it with ice cream)…. (these may vary for different people. Well in being able to contol your desire, you can control how much you want to do your daily stuff and how much you’ll enjoy it. Even for something that is horrible, you can ask yourself, well how could it be a little bit better. What would it take. And by preselecting your mood and your milestones, you can make some annoying things seem a lot better. I know this tool worked for me for most of this week at work.

Another cool concept he gives is about rules. Figuring out one’s own rules and understanding that others have different ones. An even neater section was his section on communication. The exercises about how you act when stressed or when you want someone to do something make you realize just how silly we can get when we forget why we communicate. Then there was a section on handling stressful situations, a set of steps, which unlike the desirability metric thing, was too long for me to memorize, wish I managed to write it down (but I have another two weeks). Another interesting section on being sure and unsure and how a person should question which approach will help them get the most out of life. He went off on a long talk about AIDS and how many of the things we all believe aren’t so true. I didn’t know a lot of the things he mentioned. What was funny though was in order to show how we base our sureness on the news or professionals he used professionals to prove the counter point. But how else would you do it? Actually he was consistent in that it’s a good idea to get as many points of view as possible before committing to an idea, especially if you’re going to commit to something that can destroy you. The statistics about how doctors choose medicines was also very eye-opening.

Then he goes on to a section on meaning, also really good, and asks us to figure out what we are meant to do. What is the purpose of our lives? Anthony Robbins said his was to serve G-d and people to his utmost of his ability. I think this is a wonderful goal. To be honest, it made me realize just how much I got lost lately. I’m really not sure what’s going on. Half a year ago I knew it so clearly, now I’m not so sure. Listening to the tape he said it’s important to start somewhere. To say anything. Can you guess what came out? What’s the purpose of your life? I said to create beautiful art. Where did that come from? No idea. Being a good Yid? Being a good husband and father? The first thing that came to my mind was the art thing. Maybe that’s a big chunk of my destiny, even though the next two were (and should still be) my crystal clear goals. I finally had a weekend to relax, sleep, and think a bit more clearly. I think it’s helping, though still not sure.

He ends the book with a recap with an emphasis on meaning. He stresses that it’s as important to live each moment towards achieving a goal as it is to achieve it. His stories, like his trip to India and getting assigned dish-washing to the life-and-death situations where persistence saved lives, to the tales about death, the whole collection was just wonderful. This CD, just because of the control part would be up there with Rich Dad, Poor Dad, and it has more good parts too. Anthony Robbins’ Live with Passion! is definitely life-changing and eye opening, and worth a listen.

Growth Books, Self-Help, Travel

Zig Ziglar part 2 and Personal Goals

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Goals : Setting And Achieving Them On ScheduleOn my way to work and back, the Zig Ziglar Goals CD really got me thinking.

Some ideas from the cd:

Take an amazing archer and blindfold him and spin him around. What if this archer is so good he still hit’s the bullseye. Impressive. Now, what if there’s no bulleye? How can you hit something that doesn’t exist? (It sounds a lot better on the tape with the background and in depth explanations and Zig Ziglar’s use of language and humor.)

Every person should write a book, not necessarily for publishing, called “How to Make My Life Meaningful”, and live by it.

The people who are always “about to” do something, never get anything done.

Every night, spend ten minutes reviewing your goals and what you’ve done to accomplish them. Before going to bed, write down what you’ve done to get there in your notebook. For the next day, choose the top six most important goals, and focus on those.

I had been keeping a log because of Think and Grow Rich and it helped me get the guts and will-power to I leave my first day job. This was in November. I left for Thailand at the start of December and came back last week. The trip really changed some of my time-limes and goals and this is quite dangerous. Ultimately my goal is to become a good father and a good husband. To accomplish this I need to have enough time and energy to dedicate to my family. To accomplish this I need financial independence, my own businesses/investments, and a true love of what I’m doing. My current goals and decisions were all geared toward this, but now another element came into the picture.

My trip to Thailand changed a few things: 1) I’m no longer as eager to marry within the next few years. 2) I want to travel. 3) I want to make a huge difference for the better in many people’s lives, and I know I have the means to make it happen.

As far as marriage goes, I think marrying later and traveling more may actually make me a better husband. By understanding more about myself, knowing more about the world, I’ll better appreciate my partner and have more to offer. As far as career goes, this may not be the best option. I didn’t make the most of my education and right now is the time to make up for it. If I run away to a distant land, would I be working toward my goal or just enjoying myself and losing more time. On the other hand, if I don’t do it now, I’m not sure I’ll ever will get a similar opportunity. My two weeks of travel taught me more about life than at least a semester at Cal. Perhaps some time abroad may lead to further growth and realizations?

I understand that in looking at goals, one needs to look at one’s goals and work backwards, not look at what one likes and find justifications for it. One should also look at the reasons for one’s goals. If I elevate travel to goal level, I better have a meaningful reason for it. Similarly, although I’m lucky to live in a place where I may have more opportunities than anywhere in the world, maybe it would be worthwhile to truly widen my scope and experience before aiming for a target.

It’s always both scary and fantastic to have your world view shaken. My first shake came from my first job out of school and my awakening with Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I chose to be rich. That’s my goal. I know amazing fathers and husbands that aren’t rich, but I choose to become an amazing husband and father that is rich. My second shake came from my trip to Thailand. I’m on the verge of adding another goal, and this goal may have a huge impact on many of my other choices.

I need to figure these things out before making any commitments and decisions in the next few weeks (and another interview awaits me this morning).

Growth Books, Self-Help

Zig Ziglar Goals

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Goals : Setting And Achieving Them On ScheduleDriving back from San Francisco, I realized I had an audio book I didn’t get to hear in library returns bag: Goals : Setting And Achieving Them On Schedule.

The CD was a very pleasant surprise. First of all, the seminar is filled with hilarious tidbits and combined with his accent, listening is pure pleasure. The content is even better. Stories and powerful statements that get you to change your life. In the tape he gauranteed that if one hears the tape and doesn’t set a goal, that person won’t be able to sleep. He was right, I thought about, said, and wrote down a quite a few. The tape’s motivation and insight is very powerful. He starts off, after introductions, about reasons why people don’t set goals and in so doing motivates people to see their problems from a third person view, meaning they’ll far more easily fix them. The entire tape is like a little speech booster. I could see someone holding a copy of these tapes and just playing them over and over each week. Although, the point of the audiobook is practice not just listening.

It’s been an insane week for goals, goal-setting, and questions, and the Zig Ziglar Goals CD’s are a perfect catalyst to get even more accomplished. It’s the fourth mentor this week to remind me that we must strive toward greater goals to live a truly meaningful existence.

Update: It seems as if there’s a hidden power in goals. As soon as a plan is set, if it’s written down, it’s as if the world moves to both help and test you. Two phone calls came this morning. I can’t be more specific at the moment, but those who set goals know what I’m talking about. As soon as they’re set, opportunities start coming at you. It’s very pleasant, but one needs to stay focused and know which follow the plan and which don’t. One should read the goals and the plan of action at least daily and re-evaluate the goals and the plan at least weekly, to have full confidence in where one is going and that one is on the right path to getting there.