Live Truly

Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning is about finding your reason to live. Sometimes its not what you want from life, but what life demands from you. Frankl is a psychoanalyst who survived four concentration camps. Although it describes life in the camps in a very direct way, the book is more about finding the reason to keep going. It’s really direct and to the point and some passages of it flow like poetry. The book will have a different impact on every person. The edition I read had a long preface and a second part about logotherapy (logos = meaning). I found the original book and the last few pages the most powerful, although the whole thing is worth reading. This is the type of book that you could over and over and get more from it each time.

Just read Who Moved My Cheese? by Dr. Spencer Johnson. It really illustrates the need to adapt, change, and not get lazy and start feeling entitled. Basically it’s about two mice and two mini-people that find a giant warehouse of cheese. The cheese is everything they want and they’re super happy (security, healthy relationships, money, power, etc). One day the cheese disappears. The mice hunt for another place but the people that got used to the place just get sad. One of the people eventually gets tired of waiting for the cheese to come back and goes hunting again… and finds greater treasures. A real metaphor for ife. The only catch I see is sometimes it does take a little persistence for something to develop, but I can see this as part of the hunt too. You got to get out and get violent (and persistent) to find the cheese. Who Moved My Cheese? is a really simple story with huge lessons. Definitely worth a read.

The book has a website too: whomovedmycheese.com

Anthony Robbins’ Live with Passion! is up there as one of the best self-improvement books I’ve ever heard. The guy presents so many specific, simple, and effective ways to improve your life–instantly.

Last week I finally managed to get to the library, and with all the excitement got almost half a dozen books on tape. This was the first and I finished it in less than three days. I really needed it right now, and it really helped. The first and one of the greatest strategies in this book is the ability to control one’s desire for an object or a situation. There was a term for it, but the idea goes like this, on a scale from -10 (completely repulsive) to 10 (you can’t live without it, now), figure out your desire for an object, or an event. Figure out how it could be a little lower and a little higher, play with this until you get it to the number you want. So if you take an apple, what would it take for that apple to move from a zero to a two… (the crispness of it)… to a five (being really hungry and a little thirsty)… to an eight (that apple cool on a hot day and smelling super yummy)… to a ten (all those things… and you have it with ice cream)…. (these may vary for different people. Well in being able to contol your desire, you can control how much you want to do your daily stuff and how much you’ll enjoy it. Even for something that is horrible, you can ask yourself, well how could it be a little bit better. What would it take. And by preselecting your mood and your milestones, you can make some annoying things seem a lot better. I know this tool worked for me for most of this week at work.

Another cool concept he gives is about rules. Figuring out one’s own rules and understanding that others have different ones. An even neater section was his section on communication. The exercises about how you act when stressed or when you want someone to do something make you realize just how silly we can get when we forget why we communicate. Then there was a section on handling stressful situations, a set of steps, which unlike the desirability metric thing, was too long for me to memorize, wish I managed to write it down (but I have another two weeks). Another interesting section on being sure and unsure and how a person should question which approach will help them get the most out of life. He went off on a long talk about AIDS and how many of the things we all believe aren’t so true. I didn’t know a lot of the things he mentioned. What was funny though was in order to show how we base our sureness on the news or professionals he used professionals to prove the counter point. But how else would you do it? Actually he was consistent in that it’s a good idea to get as many points of view as possible before committing to an idea, especially if you’re going to commit to something that can destroy you. The statistics about how doctors choose medicines was also very eye-opening.

Then he goes on to a section on meaning, also really good, and asks us to figure out what we are meant to do. What is the purpose of our lives? Anthony Robbins said his was to serve G-d and people to his utmost of his ability. I think this is a wonderful goal. To be honest, it made me realize just how much I got lost lately. I’m really not sure what’s going on. Half a year ago I knew it so clearly, now I’m not so sure. Listening to the tape he said it’s important to start somewhere. To say anything. Can you guess what came out? What’s the purpose of your life? I said to create beautiful art. Where did that come from? No idea. Being a good Yid? Being a good husband and father? The first thing that came to my mind was the art thing. Maybe that’s a big chunk of my destiny, even though the next two were (and should still be) my crystal clear goals. I finally had a weekend to relax, sleep, and think a bit more clearly. I think it’s helping, though still not sure.

He ends the book with a recap with an emphasis on meaning. He stresses that it’s as important to live each moment towards achieving a goal as it is to achieve it. His stories, like his trip to India and getting assigned dish-washing to the life-and-death situations where persistence saved lives, to the tales about death, the whole collection was just wonderful. This CD, just because of the control part would be up there with Rich Dad, Poor Dad, and it has more good parts too. Anthony Robbins’ Live with Passion! is definitely life-changing and eye opening, and worth a listen.

I thought Good Business was just another business book. Not that I don’t like business books, but this one is far more. The way the author describes working environments that foster flow and the way he discusses responsibility and purpose. He breaks it down so clearly. I want to go out and get the print version and take notes from it. It’s so clear and so powerful.

What is flow? Flow is when you’re vibing, it’s a period of time when you’re working at your maximum capacity. It’s when time gets distorted and you completely forget about yourself. You have clear goals and you become the task you’re accomplishing. The amount of flow time in one’s life corresponds with a feeling of purpose, happiness, and well-being. The author talks about strategies of bringing flow into the workplace, but also, toward the end of the pack, talks about choosing a life and career or business that’ll foster such time. He covers all sorts of topics like time allocation, family and work, and has so many insightful quotes. This is one of the few books on tape, that I’ll probably listen to twice.

Another really neat part of his work deals with complexity. He combines evolution, physics, biology, religion, and purpose and weaves through metaphoric threads to prove the need for growth in our lives. Building up step by step, he really creates a work of art, a very powerful one. This is definitely no regular business book. This is a book about living a meaningful life.

The most important concept I got from it so far, and there are many to choose from, is that in order to live a meaningful existence one must do something that’s enjoyable and complex enough to challenge, and at the same time it must benefit mankind. It’s that simple (broken down in far better detail in the book): find something challenging that you love and that helps people. If you make a bad choice, get stuck, and start losing energy, try something else. Find what you love, not what you’re not good at and not what’s too easy. Choose a fun challenge that’ll help others and help you.

After my lesson, I headed over to the audio books section to get my next few hours of learning while driving. I picked up some foreign language cd’s and another business book: Good Business: Leadership, Flow, and the Making of Meaning. Right now, I know it’s about time to stop jumping from book to book and really focus and follow one, however, the subtitle caught my attention. I’m glad I picked it up.

It’s another Nightingale-Conant Production. For those that don’t know, it seems like almost every book makes the world a better more meaningful place. This book is no exception. From the get-go Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (say that three times fast) made a few remarkable points about happiness. (Not a literal quotation, more an outline of thoughts)

We strive for happiness. It’s above wealth and power, because those are sought after to attain happiness. What are different levels of happiness? How do we attain them? Who is happier?

On a very low level, we need some material things to make us happy. Someone who’s starving, will find happiness in being able to get food. An extremely impoverished family will find happiness in rising to a more stable level of living. However, after a certain bit, materials no longer have a lasting effect. Many people who win the lottery are at first very happy and then they go back down. Many people who become injured or disabled, also show a comeback and bounce back to previous levels of happiness. How does this work?

Again, at the lowest level, we have basic necessities. Having enough to live comfortably. After this level people go for status or love to support them. Marriage and family, status symbols, cars, job titles, specific careers. These are steps toward getting self-esteem. Upon gaining this self-esteem, people may still be unhappy. In order to attain the highest level of happiness people must truly live out their life to its full capacity, meaning making use of their talents and abilities for a purpose greater then the self.

True happiness comes from knowing that one is living at 100% of one’s potential–from doing something that’ll improve other people’s lives and enjoying what you do.

This should be the basis for any business. Any company and every product must aim to raise its customers’ happiness. Some products offer only temporary improvements at high costs, while others offer hopes of happiness with little chance of success. Some try and fail to deliver, those are forgivable, while others lie from the start, those are not good businesses. A good business, that will bring true happiness to its owner is one that will bring happiness to its customers and to its employees. The perfect role is one which is complex enough to make you work hard and keep your interest, and at the same time it should energize you and make you feel like you’re living a fun and meaningful existence.

The purpose of one’s life should be to do something that raises the happiness of others and at the same time lets you enjoy doing it.

Few people have broken it down as well as Mihaly did within the first few minutes of his Good Business. Many have hinted at it, but he hit the spot. Can’t wait to share more.

On my way to work and back, the Zig Ziglar Goals CD really got me thinking.

Some ideas from the cd:

Take an amazing archer and blindfold him and spin him around. What if this archer is so good he still hit’s the bullseye. Impressive. Now, what if there’s no bulleye? How can you hit something that doesn’t exist? (It sounds a lot better on the tape with the background and in depth explanations and Zig Ziglar’s use of language and humor.)

Every person should write a book, not necessarily for publishing, called “How to Make My Life Meaningful”, and live by it.

The people who are always “about to” do something, never get anything done.

Every night, spend ten minutes reviewing your goals and what you’ve done to accomplish them. Before going to bed, write down what you’ve done to get there in your notebook. For the next day, choose the top six most important goals, and focus on those.

I had been keeping a log because of Think and Grow Rich and it helped me get the guts and will-power to I leave my first day job. This was in November. I left for Thailand at the start of December and came back last week. The trip really changed some of my time-limes and goals and this is quite dangerous. Ultimately my goal is to become a good father and a good husband. To accomplish this I need to have enough time and energy to dedicate to my family. To accomplish this I need financial independence, my own businesses/investments, and a true love of what I’m doing. My current goals and decisions were all geared toward this, but now another element came into the picture.

My trip to Thailand changed a few things: 1) I’m no longer as eager to marry within the next few years. 2) I want to travel. 3) I want to make a huge difference for the better in many people’s lives, and I know I have the means to make it happen.

As far as marriage goes, I think marrying later and traveling more may actually make me a better husband. By understanding more about myself, knowing more about the world, I’ll better appreciate my partner and have more to offer. As far as career goes, this may not be the best option. I didn’t make the most of my education and right now is the time to make up for it. If I run away to a distant land, would I be working toward my goal or just enjoying myself and losing more time. On the other hand, if I don’t do it now, I’m not sure I’ll ever will get a similar opportunity. My two weeks of travel taught me more about life than at least a semester at Cal. Perhaps some time abroad may lead to further growth and realizations?

I understand that in looking at goals, one needs to look at one’s goals and work backwards, not look at what one likes and find justifications for it. One should also look at the reasons for one’s goals. If I elevate travel to goal level, I better have a meaningful reason for it. Similarly, although I’m lucky to live in a place where I may have more opportunities than anywhere in the world, maybe it would be worthwhile to truly widen my scope and experience before aiming for a target.

It’s always both scary and fantastic to have your world view shaken. My first shake came from my first job out of school and my awakening with Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I chose to be rich. That’s my goal. I know amazing fathers and husbands that aren’t rich, but I choose to become an amazing husband and father that is rich. My second shake came from my trip to Thailand. I’m on the verge of adding another goal, and this goal may have a huge impact on many of my other choices.

I need to figure these things out before making any commitments and decisions in the next few weeks (and another interview awaits me this morning).