Live Truly

Had an interview with an amazing company today. Working there would be a dream. It was so strange, walking around and being surrounded by hundreds of people–my age, and happy, smiling, enjoying what they do. I really wasn’t sure about this position, but decided to give it a go. After the interviews I ended up wanting it even more.

I knew the company provided lunches, but the quality, variety, and setup just blew me away. It seemed like I was back at Cal, in the dorms, except the food was actually good. People would sit at the tables in groups and talk and enjoy each other’s company. For people that became full time workers they have different promotions, and for the super-new people, they designate a table so that they can meet each other and start building friendships. Sitting there with my old roomie, it almost seemed like we were back at Cal, only better.

The thing that really moved me though was talking with the interview people. They loved what they did. They felt fulfilled and they gave examples of how the unique company structure allowed them to make ideas into realities. They talked about the feedbacks, the space for initiative, the way people learned. The more I heard, the more I leaned toward joining, should I get the offer. After my first two tech jobs, I had a hard time believing a tech place could be more than exploiting interns to do manual labor with their fingertips. Well, I take that back, my first tech place six years ago was different, but it’s out of business now. My current place is very different: it’s small, intellectual, and powerful. Everything is lightening speed. Everything is on the line. This place found a way to keep the speed, the power, the closeness, and complexity, but at the same time it’s actually enjoyable and there are hundreds (maybe thousands) of other people here. You can actually meet new friends at work. Amazing.

The recruiter was amazingly nice as well. The whole process was like visiting some kind of workplace Disney Land. It slipped out that I’d have to keep searching, since it’s another month or two before an answer may come, but I came home just blown away. I wish I didn’t say anything. If it came to a choice today, very little could make me change my mind about them. They knew my situation, the place was filled with grads figuring out their path, and the people there seemed so happy to be there. I just couldn’t believe such a place existed.

Perhaps it might be worthwhile to go there to grow. It sure would be healthier and happier. Would I accomplish as much? Would I learn as much? I’m not sure. I don’t have any offer, so I’m not going to trip aside from writing some very sincere thank you letters.

If there is a place to work for someone else, to learn, to grow, and to save up a bit, this is it. Just amazing. I really hope I get accepted. It’s strange, this is a complete one eighty from two days ago. I’m still keeping with my goal, but this does make the phase where I’ll be doing some “normal” work a lot less dreadful, making it something I could actually look forward to.

Yesterday I applied for what seems like a dream job. As in a job where I get to learn about every aspect of a business I’m really interested in. Decent pay, but amazing experience. I couldn’t wait to hear back from them. I was so excited about it that I’d be happy to take it even if it meant a big cut in pay.

Well surprise, surprise. I guess this is what happens when you get ready to move on. Today my boss lets me know that our start-up just got more funding and that I can finally expect to start making some of it. This presents an interesting situation, on one hand I know that there’s more opportunity and pay in this field, and a wider reach, and more creative and complex work. There’s also an amazing team and every day I feel lucky to be around such bright people. On the other hand, I’ve been saying I’d like to get away from the field for the last few years. The people and work is great, but I come home at eleven, dead and drained. In the morning I’m eager to do everything, study, anything, except go there. I feel like I’ve stopped growing and I feel like I’m losing my life there. When inside that little office, I just want to rip out my hair and run away. My main motivation for working is because I want to finish the project so I can move on and away. But now, with promises of different work and better pay, I wonder if maybe it is worth trying and I’m feeling bad because these things are negotiated with investors. At the same time, I just want to get as far away as I can, stick with my goals and plans, try other fields, and maybe spend six to eight hours in front of a computer instead of eighteen.

I’m really not sure which way to go. Both the dream job and my current place are a lot of hard work. In my current place, I’ve gained more experience than in my entire university education, and I have a chance to work and learn from top notch programmers and entrepreneurs and simply fascinating people. It’s super small, so we’re all one to one. This really is building something huge, true business, and it’s the opportunity of a lifetime. At the same time, I feel no flow at this job or with what I’m doing and want to move and try another professions to know what to really pursue. Not because of self-doubt or laziness, but because I’ve been saying this to myself for the last few years and I’ve finally started the process. Tough tough choices in the next few days. In any case, I’m determined to finish the current project. We’ll see where things go after that.

The Occupational Outlook Handbook from the US Department of Labor is a deep source for information about jobs and careers. Tonight, I tried getting more information from monster and a few other sites but none offered organization as clear as the OOH site. It discusses required education, outlooks, salaries, and job conditions. It also lists similar careers. Of all the sites out there, this one was the richest and easiest to use. It even offered earning statistics for commission-only jobs.

I finally sat down and wrote out my first long term goals draft in over a month. It took three hours to sort things out, and it’s just a rough draft, but even with the ideas clearing up, I’m feeling the peace and clarity coming back. I also found a job that has the perfect combination of work, learning, and location, and fits perfectly with the goals. Applying tomorrow morning (in 3 hours). Can’t wait to start learning and earning while truly living each day.