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Archive for May, 2006

Responding vs. Reacting

Posted by b On May - 17 - 2006

It’s interesting, but the last five or so books I’ve gone through (not including the historic one) have focused on very similar topics:

You need to control your response to any situation.
You must keep what’s most important most important.

I just finished a very interesting book on Siddartha Gautama. It’s amazing how much Buddhism and Chassidism have in common. I love the second lesson. It’s just beautiful. I am not a Yogi so I may not fully understand it, but the idea of no self is so simple and clean. Everything is moving–always changing. It’s fantastic!

I’ve whined quite a bit about my current regime. Sleep between work is not living, even if I like what I’m doing. It’s time to break it.

I re-found something that I actually like to do and can do reasonably well (although hopefully better in time). I also learned that when working for someone else, these preferences don’t matter one bit. If I want to build these skills and do more things that I like, then it’d have to be on my own time–which I simply haven’t had any of except in sleep.. sometimes.

Last weekend, I finally kicked it with my old roommate. It was so refreshing to be able to talk freely and have someone who actively listened and understood. He asked some penetrating questions: Do you like your life now? What will you change to make things better? If you had a choice to be doing anything, what would it be? What are you doing to get there? We discussed the fears and practices and cycles behind choices.

It’s interesting, working for other people how easy it is to lose yourself–and I don’t mean lose your self. I whined my last whine last night, and decided to respond rather than react. I wrote down a plan–a specific and long term one. It already made today a lot better.

Power of the Seven Habits

Posted by b On May - 12 - 2006

The Power Of The 7 Habits : Applications And Insights Dr. Stephen Covey’s The Power Of The 7 Habits : Applications And Insights walks through the environment of habits needed for success. The book has a lot to offer.

While the style and structure seem best for paper (not easily memorizable) there are some really nice insights in the tape. Among them, what are seven habits of ineffective individuals: not taking responsibility, not putting first things first, over-committing, etc.

The book also stressed the same point that Robins’ book. Realizing that you have the ability to control your response. Then growing from there. The saying no to unnecessary commitments and taking time to write a mission statement parts are aslo really important.

Overall this is a nice quick listen, hard to orient at times, but because it’s so short, it’s not that big a problem.

Guns, Germs, and Steel

Posted by b On May - 10 - 2006

Guns, Germs and Steel Just finished my second library rental. Jared Diamond offers an insightful look into human history and pre-history and a nice explanation of why things are the way theye are. Guns, Germs and Steel is a great book for history and knowledge and offeres many insights, things one might never consider (like how much faster food spreads East-West versus North-South due to climate, and what that meant for Africa and the Americas versus Asia-Europe), but as far as a personal development book? That it is not.

Live with Passion

Posted by b On May - 8 - 2006

Live with Passion! : Strategies for Creating a Compelling Future Anthony Robbins’ Live with Passion! is up there as one of the best self-improvement books I’ve ever heard. The guy presents so many specific, simple, and effective ways to improve your life–instantly.

Last week I finally managed to get to the library, and with all the excitement got almost half a dozen books on tape. This was the first and I finished it in less than three days. I really needed it right now, and it really helped. The first and one of the greatest strategies in this book is the ability to control one’s desire for an object or a situation. There was a term for it, but the idea goes like this, on a scale from -10 (completely repulsive) to 10 (you can’t live without it, now), figure out your desire for an object, or an event. Figure out how it could be a little lower and a little higher, play with this until you get it to the number you want. So if you take an apple, what would it take for that apple to move from a zero to a two… (the crispness of it)… to a five (being really hungry and a little thirsty)… to an eight (that apple cool on a hot day and smelling super yummy)… to a ten (all those things… and you have it with ice cream)…. (these may vary for different people. Well in being able to contol your desire, you can control how much you want to do your daily stuff and how much you’ll enjoy it. Even for something that is horrible, you can ask yourself, well how could it be a little bit better. What would it take. And by preselecting your mood and your milestones, you can make some annoying things seem a lot better. I know this tool worked for me for most of this week at work.

Another cool concept he gives is about rules. Figuring out one’s own rules and understanding that others have different ones. An even neater section was his section on communication. The exercises about how you act when stressed or when you want someone to do something make you realize just how silly we can get when we forget why we communicate. Then there was a section on handling stressful situations, a set of steps, which unlike the desirability metric thing, was too long for me to memorize, wish I managed to write it down (but I have another two weeks). Another interesting section on being sure and unsure and how a person should question which approach will help them get the most out of life. He went off on a long talk about AIDS and how many of the things we all believe aren’t so true. I didn’t know a lot of the things he mentioned. What was funny though was in order to show how we base our sureness on the news or professionals he used professionals to prove the counter point. But how else would you do it? Actually he was consistent in that it’s a good idea to get as many points of view as possible before committing to an idea, especially if you’re going to commit to something that can destroy you. The statistics about how doctors choose medicines was also very eye-opening.

Then he goes on to a section on meaning, also really good, and asks us to figure out what we are meant to do. What is the purpose of our lives? Anthony Robbins said his was to serve G-d and people to his utmost of his ability. I think this is a wonderful goal. To be honest, it made me realize just how much I got lost lately. I’m really not sure what’s going on. Half a year ago I knew it so clearly, now I’m not so sure. Listening to the tape he said it’s important to start somewhere. To say anything. Can you guess what came out? What’s the purpose of your life? I said to create beautiful art. Where did that come from? No idea. Being a good Yid? Being a good husband and father? The first thing that came to my mind was the art thing. Maybe that’s a big chunk of my destiny, even though the next two were (and should still be) my crystal clear goals. I finally had a weekend to relax, sleep, and think a bit more clearly. I think it’s helping, though still not sure.

He ends the book with a recap with an emphasis on meaning. He stresses that it’s as important to live each moment towards achieving a goal as it is to achieve it. His stories, like his trip to India and getting assigned dish-washing to the life-and-death situations where persistence saved lives, to the tales about death, the whole collection was just wonderful. This CD, just because of the control part would be up there with Rich Dad, Poor Dad, and it has more good parts too. Anthony Robbins’ Live with Passion! is definitely life-changing and eye opening, and worth a listen.

Work

Posted by b On May - 6 - 2006

The past two weeks, especially the last one, were insane. I had almost half a week of allnighters all the way up to this Monday.

I learned quite a bit though. Cleaning up an online store and gui and adding new parts to the product at the same time. It’s been a bit overwhelming because on one hand I’d love to make it look as nice as our artist designed it, but on the other hand I have programming projects which are a lot higher priority riding me, violently. The greatest challenge though as in communication. Responding through text and emails is vital, just letting the rest of the team know what’s going on, even if projects keep jumping on your shoulders. This is definitely an area I will improve in.

I also found something I absolutely love doing. The design and the GUI. It’s so much fun and it’s so rewarding to make a part look better. It’s up there with drawing. I’d like to work on things like this more in the future, I’d love to be able to finish cleaning up our sites. But I’m not the boss and we have different priorities. Hah, maybe the way to do it is to clean up my portfolio and take a few gigs on craigslist…. when I make the time (and whether or not any of that goes to other gigs, I need to make some time soon)…

Work has completely taken over and as much as I love what I’m doing, I really miss being able to sleep enough, to dance with my friends, and just to have a day off to relax. It actually got to a point where I turned down some late night invites because I was just too tired from work! Not healthy. The part that really gets to me is that I’m working crazy hours and yet it seems like I get nothing done. I really want to either build up my speed or find something I’m better at. I know I’m a thousand times faster than I was before, but its still sad seeing my pace compared to what I expect.

During this past week I’ve been listening to some pretty cool motivational cd’s. If not for them, I don’t think I’d be in as good a mood right now.

I’m exhausted, but very happy to have my first semi-weekend in two weeks.